After returning from Nepal, it took me four full days to send a text. It took me a whole week before going back to the studio, or attempting to fill up my schedule.
I took days at home, doing my best to coax my body and my circadian rhythm back into pacific time.
As it was April, I began to tend to my garden. Before the trip I’d envisioned doubling its size so there’s lots of work to be done. Working with my hands to dig new beds, sift compost, rake debris, stretch new fence, remove weeds, gave my body something to do slowly and mindfully, and gave my mind an opportunity to process all of the bits and pieces from a month of travel.
It wasn’t just jetlag - I began to grapple with how to integrate the new practices, the shifts in consciousness, the new and growing parts of myself into the construct of my old life - which includes my partner, my home, my business, and all of the little niches and details that are not always considered until something draws our attention to them
It’s easy to rush back into our normal lives. In American lifestyle, our limited PTO is handed to us as a part of our salary rather than a part of a wellness package. Each day counts - and it’s tempting to squeeze every ounce of it so that we can recharge in whatever way works best for us.
One of my core beliefs is that in our American society we need more time to tend to our own happiness, wellness, and mental health. I’m sure my description about my first few days sounds indulgent and even incredibly privileged to some, and at times I was tempted by a compulsion to jump back into my life and recharge my bank account - but I knew deep in my heart that tending to my inner garden was the best thing I could do for myself.
Building time for integration after a peak experience of any kind helps us to process what has come up in a healthy way, learn and grow from it in a meaningful manner, and to minimize any potential negative effects that could arise.
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What is Integration and Why is it Important?
Integration is the pause we take after any kind of transformative experience to allow it to percolate through our nervous system, allowing whatever needs to arise to come up, and being with those things, inviting an opportunity to create change moving forward.
Whether you attend a powerful sound bath that brings up something unexpected from the subconscious, enjoy a sweet weekend retreat that cracks your heart wide open, blow your mind at burning man, or fly halfway across the world for a month on a pilgrimage - when we experience something that affects us at a deep level, if we don’t allow ourselves time to be with it, we an lose some of the meaning, or worse, it can bring triggers to the surface that end up affecting our lives in a negative way.
What you can do to integrate
Here’s a few things I’ve done to help me integrate peak experiences, and a few tools I’ve been using to support myself since returning from Nepal. Depending on what it is you are assimilating, I invite you to borrow from and adapt any of these into your approach to your growth.
Create a supportive routine
Routine grounds us. It can nurture us. Routine helps us to get from point A to point B without thinking too hard. Maybe, your experience has caused you to question your routine.
Now is a time to define - or redefine - some of these things that you do to move through each day with ease.
What beverage would you like to wake up with? What kind of movement helps you ease into the day? How do you wind down to prepare for rest? Make sure that what you are choosing to bring into each day is supportive for your needs.
Take time for yourself
It’s so important to define time that you have to yourself. If you lead a particularly busy life - schedule that time in! Maybe its a morning walk before the day gets busy, or perhaps its an afternoon with your journal or another introspective activity.
It may be tempting to call all of your friends and family and reconnect. And there’s nothing wrong with that, either. When you love people - you miss them if you’ve been away!
Just make sure to create the space you need to allow thoughts and feelings to bubble to the surface, without giving in to too much distraction.
Eat nurturing foods
Aim for a diet of simple, whole, unprocessed foods. When we eat well, our body spends exponentially less energy trying to assimilate nutrients from hard-to-digest foods, and has greater capacity to support our mental and emotional loads.
This is a great time to *notice* what your cravings are. And even if you give into them, without judgement, bring yourself back to something simple and balanced.
Avoid substances, toxins, etc
Just like our diet, keeping our physical body as clean and free from substances such as alcohol, tobacco, prescription pills, weed, or other toxins will help the mind stay clear.
If big things have come up, you may have the tendency to want to quiet them down. But this is an opportunity to re-examine your relationship with the things you put into your body, and the things that you do that affect mental clarity.
Find patience - with yourself and others
Whatever is arising - be patient with it. If you are undergoing some sort of inner change, particularly if something arose that was unexpected, reallllly give your time to allow yourself to be with it.
Fill your time with activities that allow your mind to wander, and just see where it goes. Don’t push it.
Let others be themselves. You may find it difficult to share some of the experiences with others around you, as sometimes what moves through you can be difficult to put into words. It’s ok to keep the big things to yourself.
Remember that others around you haven’t necessarily changed
This is a big one, especially when you are living with family, in a relationship, or even in a professional situation at work (especially if you are finding that your job isn’t feeling aligned).
While you may be starting to see and experience the world in new and different ways, those around you are probably walking the same path as they had been prior to the experience you are currently integrating.
Circle back to the last bullet point and find patience with those around you. As your experience integrates, share it with them as you feel ready to. Everyone is on their own path; some people take steps forward with you, and occasionally, others get left behind.
Create boundaries
Boundaries are critical for establishing your autonomy, your sense of self, and keeping you feeling safe, and so much more.
A strong boundary around things that trigger us can also save us from a lot of anger, frustration, and feelings of being taken advantage of. I’ve found that the instances when I’ve felt the most challenged is often correlated to times when I haven’t set a boundary and stuck to it (due to some people-pleasing tendencies).
Maybe you’ve realized that some behaviors you’ve been accepting from others, or some ways you’ve been bending over backwards for others, are no longer aligned with how you’re ready to move forward.
Familiarize yourself with feeling ok while saying various versions of “no, that won’t work for me,” and practice saying it firmly, politely, and without any guilt or regret. Then notice how empowered and at ease you feel.
Welcome challenge
When challenges arise - take a deep breath, and know that the universe is sending you a sign that you are in a time of growth. Embrace it.
Create a comfortable space for yourself
How does your home feel? Your car? Your work space? Your bedroom?
Can you beautify it? Maybe adorn it with some fresh-cut flowers (local if possible!). Spruce things up, clean them out. Make your space comfortable, inviting, and relaxing.
Work with your hands
Vegging out only feels good for so long, and too much screen time will detract from your ability to be present with yourself. It is so satisfying to get to work and feel accomplished doing something. What tasks do you have that engage the hands and body?
Using our physical bodies when we work allows the mind to flow, creating connections that fire between different parts of the brain. And there are so many simple activities you can do to channel that flow - cooking, gardening, deep cleaning or organizing a room,
Journal/create/meditate
Seek out some good journal prompts. Free write. Draw or doodle or paint. Sculpt. This is the time to see what comes through you. Allow your subconscious space to communicate.
Stay connected
If your experience was connected to any sort of group, maintain connection with them! Engage in a WhatsApp group or on social media.
If it was a local workshop, stay connected with the facilitator and explore their future offerings. The leader may have guidance for you to help integrating the experience.
Sometimes these people become friends for life.
Ayurveda and Integration
Many Ayurvedic principles are particularly supportive in the aftermath of a transformative experience. Ayurveda helps you eat for your body type and your imbalances, along with the flow of the seasons and environment; develop supportive routines; prioritize grounding and energetic practices that benefit all five koshas (physical and energetic levels of the body) - and much more: all of which are extremely beneficial during any times that present challenge.
If you’d like guidance along your journey, I’d love to connect. Send me a message to get in touch, and take a look at my Ayurvedic Coaching packages and see if one could be right for you.