Savasana: Space for a Sweet Pause

Have you been able to take a pause yet this winter?

Modern Western society isn’t known for listening to the pull of the seasons. Our jobs, lifestyles, and responsibilities often don’t offer enough down time to rest, especially in the wintertime when every single thing mother nature is throwing at us is an invitation to hibernate and find some quiet.

When we do attempt to rest there are a million distractions pulling our attention this way and that. Sometimes, we can even feel guilty for resting, even when it is what we need most. Some people only rest when their bodies force them to do so by succumbing to whatever virus is passing through or, in extreme cases, more systemic and long-term complications.

Savasana is one way we can intentionally invite this sweet pause into our life regularly.

What is Savasana?

Savasana, known as corpse pose, is often the final resting asana, or posture, in a yoga class. Lying supine, with legs slightly apart, palms facing upwards, and closed eyes, this posture invites an integration of all of the elements we’ve explored in our practice.

Savasana is also our posture for yoga nidra (yogic sleep), and when we receive a sound bath. It invites us to receive, to rest, to become quiet, to integrate, to slow down. It allows the parasympathetic nervous system to take over and work on repair and restoration.

The Challenge of Savasana

Our culture rewards doing, rewards hustle, rewards pushing. We reward competition, and winning, and financial gain. Rest can be viewed as weakness, relaxation can be perceived as worthless.

To lie down on one’s back for 5-10 minutes can sometimes be the hardest thing for a person to do!

The monkey mind keeps running, the feeling like this brief pause is a waste of time. I often see students - especially (but not solely) those new to a yoga practice - checking their watches, fidgeting, or looking around in savasana. Why is it so hard to let go?

Whereas we were so engrossed in our activity throughout our entire practice, once we lay down to rest, the inner voice may be challenged to quiet down. But this is where the real quieting of the mind begins.

Why Does Savasana work?

Ideally, the physicality of the yoga asana practice has been all-engrossing and sufficient enough to collect and calm the nervous system, so that when we enter our Corpse Pose, we can allow ourselves to drift off into space and really let go.

The breath returns to normal, the heart rate drops.

After about 6 minutes, studies show that there is a distinct shift and drop in mental chatter and letting go within the body. An ideal savasana is 10 minutes long. As the parasympathetic nervous system begins to activate, the involuntary systems in our body begin to function with more ease, repairing and restoring that which we can’t see, but which supports our entire integrated body at all levels.

What are the benefits of Savasana?

There are many beneficial effects of savasana, which are physical, mental, and subtle.

• Reduces stress. Allowing ourselves space to just be in the moment is almost a radical suggestion in today’s world. These ten minutes, in which we get to experience an absence of what we “should be” doing, allow our stress levels to decrease. Practiced over time, we are able to manage stress better.

• Promotes parasympathetic nervous system activation. The parasympathetic nervous system promotes rest and digest - in contrast to or sympathetic nervous system, which controls our fight/flight/freeze response. There are many factors - often out of our control - that activate the sympathetic nervous system. When we are in that state, our internal systems our out of whack because we internally sense some sort of danger or attack and our subconscious body is preparing to save us from danger, at the expense of i.e. our digestion, sleep, blood pressure, circulation, and more. The more we can operate in a parasympathetic state, the better our sleep patterns will be, the smoother our digestion will be, and we are generally happier, healthier, and less stressed.

• Access to subtle body. When the body relaxes, and the mind releases, we are able to let go and settle into a deeper place, and listen into our subtle body. We may be able to notice into energetic movements and shifts inside, as we let go of what we are physically and mentally holding onto. As one continues their practice of yoga and meditation, this exploration of our subtle body can become quite expansive and profound.

• Promotes mental clarity and creative thinking. As mental fragments drift about and through the mind, sometimes our neural synapses fire in a way that help to create new ideas, enhance our creative thinking, and problem solve. While the goal is to let the mind clear and settle, in this space we create, it is not uncommon to have crystal clear insights come through, as we are more tapped into our intuition.

• Deep renewal. Any yoga practice combines a number of postures, breathwork, and inner work that affect the body not merely on the physical plane that we knowingly witness, but also on our nadis, or energetic channels, srotas, or biological channels, and our dhatus, or tissues, in ways that are subtle and even mysterious. One reason we feel so wonderful at the end of a yoga class is that all of these elements are working together to support and repair whatever aspect of our body may be weakened or out of balance.

A Savasana Offering for You

Recently, a private yoga client of mine made a joke saying she wished she could teleport me to her home to guide her savasana at the end of her home practice, as she felt it was hard to stay still. I recorded this for her, but thought it could be nice to share with you, in case you ever feel that way too.

Download this audio file, and use it whenever you need a 10-minute break from the world, whether it is at the end of your practice or any other time you are ready for a sweet and sacred pause.

Fall Cleansing Ritual + Kitchiri Recipe

Now that it’s decidedly fall, it’s s a wonderful time to practice a seasonal cleanse! Each time I do a cleanse or detox, I find a different depth of experience, depending on my mindset, my state of health and habits when I begin, and what I’m hoping to get out of it.

Sometimes, it’s a struggle. Other times, it comes with ease. But what I’ve learned over the years of getting to know my body is that each cleanse experience is an opportunity to understand myself better. What are my addictions? What is easy to let go of? What kinds of cravings am I having - sometimes it’s surprising! What is the hardest thing about this cleanse? What mental things are coming up? What kinds of emotions am I feeling? What kinds of other practices can I do to support myself?

In the past, I’ve experimented with juice cleanses, the lemonade cleanse, and many more. I used to struggle A LOT with my body image, sometimes I’d even abuse the word ‘cleanse’ to cover up short-term basically-starving-myself so that I could try to shed pounds quickly. Anyone else guilty?

Ayurvedic approach to cleansing

In Ayurveda, cleansing is done from a more nurturing approach. We go through a process of eliminating the non-supportive foods (and habits!) we consume, and then adopt a simple but nutritionally complete mono-diet for a few days, which allows our digestive system to rest. During this process, we oil the digestive tract with ghee, which helps to draw out accumulated toxins in the body, and then do a purge at the end to flush out everything.

This wholesome avenue towards detoxification gives back to our whole being, especially if we can really dive completely in. In addition to the shift in what we take into our digestive system, this is a time to examine our surroundings. What kinds of energies am I letting into my life right now? How can I shift any that don’t feel nurturing? How does my physical space make me feel? What needs some deep cleaning and cobwebs swept out - literally AND metaphorically.

We invite self-care practices to cleanse the external body and other pathways into our bodies, including using a neti pot, nasya oil, abhyanga (self-massage), minimizing screen-time - and editing what comes onto our screens and into our sphere of awareness. It is a great time to re-commit to a yoga or movement practice of your choice, as well as examine connection with spirit.

Learn More about Ayurvedic Cleansing

I recently gave a workshop on Ayurvedic cleansing, that included a kitchiri-making demo and tasting as a part of my Ayurveda for Autumn workshop series. Check out my recipe for kitchiri below and make your own! If you want to catch the workshop replay, I have a recording available at (link).

I’d be happy to guide you through an Ayurvedic cleanse that designs a program for you according to your prakriti (unique qualities) and vikriti (areas where you are out of balance). If you’d like the support of a group container, my friend Jackie Just guides Ayurvedic group cleanses in the fall and spring which I also highly recommend.

Have you ever done a detox or cleanse? What kind did you do? How did it go for you? Was it a positive experience? Is it something you do regularly? I’d love to hear about it - send me a message and share your experiences!

Detox Kitchary Recipe

Kitchiri is a combination of mung beans and rice, cooked until soft and easy to digest. It’s cooked in ghee, with digestive spices, can include many combinations of vegetables, and can be spiced up with toppings to make it more exciting.

You can make kitchiri for cleansing, or as a part of your everyday diet. When making it without focusing on cleansing, you have freedom to include a wider range of options. When cleansing, you’ll avoid onions and garlic, as well as solanaceae (tomatoes, eggplant, peppers). You also would want to be more sparing with salt, and avoid any dairy in a topping (yoghurt or cottage cheese can be yummy when not cleansing).

I’ll describe a more basic, detox-suitable version below, but you can use your imagination! You can also play around with the consistency - adding more water for a softer, mushier, soupy variety - and with the ratio of mung beans to rice. You can start with the spices I suggest below, but experiment with different amounts, and combinations. Sometimes I incorporate fennel, cardamom, fenugreek, or other spices I’ve brought home from Nepal. Particularly when I’m cleansing and on a monodiet for several days, I really dig into my spice cabinet to bring in different flavor profiles to keep it interesting.

You can even substitute different varieties of beans and grains - red lentils and garbanzos are both wonderful; I love farro, quinoa, and millet as substitutes for rice when I want to switch it up. In general, I go for a long grain Basmati rice, but you can also use brown rice, or even red or wild rice. Mung beans have a scraping effect on the intestinal tract, and help clear out the digestive system, so during a cleanse they will likely be your go-to, but if you get tired of eating the same thing, you can explore some different textures or flavors by getting creative.

I N G R E D I E N T S :

• 2 tbsp ghee

• 1/2 tsp cumin

• 1/2 tsp coriander

• 1/2 tsp turmeric

• 1/2 tsp dry ginger or 1/2” fresh peeled ginger

• 1/4 tsp trikatu, black pepper, and/or long pepper

• 1 c rice

• 1.5 c split yellow mung beans

• 1-1.5 c of vegetables: i.e. sweet potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, zucchini)

• 1-1.5 c of leafy greens: i.e. kale, spinach, beet greens, cabbage)

D I R E C T I O N S :

Wash rice by rinsing 3-5x or until water is relatively clear. Allow to soak for 30 minutes - 3 hours. Wash and rinse mung beans, allowing at least one hour if possible, up to 6 hours or even overnight. While you can cook them without pre-soaking, this will aid in digestion.

Heat ghee in a large pot. When it becomes hot, add the spices to temper them and bring out their flavor. Use fresh ground spices if you have them. Stir in for about 30 seconds to one minute to open up and release the aroma.

Drain water from ghee and add to the pot. Stir it in with a wooden spoon. Add water to cover the mung beans by 2”, then add rice. Let cook on high for 3 minutes, then turn it down to simmer for about 30 minutes. Add heartier veggies early on, and more delicate ones towards the end. Stir occasionally.

Salt to taste. Garnish with cilantro, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds, toasted pepitas, yogurt, or anything else that strikes your fancy.

Did you try this recipe? Drop me a line and let me know what you think!

Processing transformative experiences: The importance of integration

After returning from Nepal, it took me four full days to send a text. It took me a whole week before going back to the studio, or attempting to fill up my schedule. 

I took days at home, doing my best to coax my body and my circadian rhythm back into pacific time. 

As it was April, I began to tend to my garden. Before the trip I’d envisioned doubling its size so there’s lots of work to be done. Working with my hands to dig new beds, sift compost, rake debris, stretch new fence, remove weeds, gave my body something to do slowly and mindfully, and gave my mind an opportunity to process all of the bits and pieces from a month of travel.  

It wasn’t just jetlag - I began to grapple with how to integrate the new practices, the shifts in consciousness, the new and growing parts of myself into the construct of my old life - which includes my partner, my home, my business, and all of the little niches and details that are not always considered until something draws our attention to them

It’s easy to rush back into our normal lives. In American lifestyle, our limited PTO is handed to us as a part of our salary rather than a part of a wellness package. Each day counts - and it’s tempting to squeeze every ounce of it so that we can recharge in whatever way works best for us. 

One of my core beliefs is that in our American society we need more time to tend to our own happiness, wellness, and mental health. I’m sure my description about my first few days sounds indulgent and even incredibly privileged to some, and at times I was tempted by a compulsion to jump back into my life and recharge my bank account - but I knew deep in my heart that tending to my inner garden was the best thing I could do for myself.

Building time for integration after a peak experience of any kind helps us to process what has come up in a healthy way, learn and grow from it in a meaningful manner, and to minimize any potential negative effects that could arise.

- - - - - - 

What is Integration and Why is it Important?

Integration is the pause we take after any kind of transformative experience to allow it to percolate through our nervous system, allowing whatever needs to arise to come up, and being with those things, inviting an opportunity to create change moving forward.

Whether you attend a powerful sound bath that brings up something unexpected from the subconscious, enjoy a sweet weekend retreat that cracks your heart wide open, blow your mind at burning man, or fly halfway across the world for a month on a pilgrimage - when we experience something that affects us at a deep level, if we don’t allow ourselves time to be with it, we an lose some of the meaning, or worse, it can bring triggers to the surface that end up affecting our lives in a negative way. 

What you can do to integrate

Here’s a few things I’ve done to help me integrate peak experiences, and a few tools I’ve been using to support myself since returning from Nepal. Depending on what it is you are assimilating, I invite you to borrow from and adapt any of these into your approach to your growth. 

Create a supportive routine

Routine grounds us. It can nurture us. Routine helps us to get from point A to point B without thinking too hard. Maybe, your experience has caused you to question your routine. 

Now is a time to define - or redefine - some of these things that you do to move through each day with ease. 

What beverage would you like to wake up with? What kind of movement helps you ease into the day? How do you wind down to prepare for rest? Make sure that what you are choosing to bring into each day is supportive for your needs. 

Take time for yourself

It’s so important to define time that you have to yourself. If you lead a particularly busy life - schedule that time in! Maybe its a morning walk before the day gets busy, or perhaps its an afternoon with your journal or another introspective activity.

It may be tempting to call all of your friends and family and reconnect. And there’s nothing wrong with that, either. When you love people - you miss them if you’ve been away!

Just make sure to create the space you need to allow thoughts and feelings to bubble to the surface, without giving in to too much distraction.

Eat nurturing foods

Aim for a diet of simple, whole, unprocessed foods. When we eat well, our body spends exponentially less energy trying to assimilate nutrients from hard-to-digest foods, and has greater capacity to support our mental and emotional loads.

This is a great time to *notice* what your cravings are. And even if you give into them, without judgement, bring yourself back to something simple and balanced.

Avoid substances, toxins, etc

Just like our diet, keeping our physical body as clean and free from substances such as alcohol, tobacco, prescription pills, weed, or other toxins will help the mind stay clear.

If big things have come up, you may have the tendency to want to quiet them down. But this is an opportunity to re-examine your relationship with the things you put into your body, and the things that you do that affect mental clarity. 

Find patience - with yourself and others

Whatever is arising - be patient with it. If you are undergoing some sort of inner change, particularly if something arose that was unexpected, reallllly give your time to allow yourself to be with it. 

Fill your time with activities that allow your mind to wander, and just see where it goes. Don’t push it.

Let others be themselves. You may find it difficult to share some of the experiences with others around you, as sometimes what moves through you can be difficult to put into words. It’s ok to keep the big things to yourself.

Remember that others around you haven’t necessarily changed

This is a big one, especially when you are living with family, in a relationship, or even in a professional situation at work (especially if you are finding that your job isn’t feeling aligned).

While you may be starting to see and experience the world in new and different ways, those around you are probably walking the same path as they had been prior to the experience you are currently integrating. 

Circle back to the last bullet point and find patience with those around you. As your experience integrates, share it with them as you feel ready to. Everyone is on their own path; some people take steps forward with you, and occasionally, others get left behind.

Create boundaries

Boundaries are critical for establishing your autonomy, your sense of self, and keeping you feeling safe, and so much more.

A strong boundary around things that trigger us can also save us from a lot of anger, frustration, and feelings of being taken advantage of. I’ve found that the instances when I’ve felt the most challenged is often correlated to times when I haven’t set a boundary and stuck to it (due to some people-pleasing tendencies). 

Maybe you’ve realized that some behaviors you’ve been accepting from others, or some ways you’ve been bending over backwards for others, are no longer aligned with how you’re ready to move forward.

Familiarize yourself with feeling ok while saying various versions of  “no, that won’t work for me,” and practice saying it firmly, politely, and without any guilt or regret. Then notice how empowered and at ease you feel.

Welcome challenge

When challenges arise - take a deep breath, and know that the universe is sending you a sign that you are in a time of growth. Embrace it. 

Create a comfortable space for yourself

How does your home feel? Your car? Your work space? Your bedroom?

Can you beautify it? Maybe adorn it with some fresh-cut flowers (local if possible!). Spruce things up, clean them out. Make your space comfortable, inviting, and relaxing.

Work with your hands

Vegging out only feels good for so long, and too much screen time will detract from your ability to be present with yourself. It is so satisfying to get to work and feel accomplished doing something. What tasks do you have that engage the hands and body?

Using our physical bodies when we work allows the mind to flow, creating connections that fire between different parts of the brain. And there are so many simple activities you can do to channel that flow - cooking, gardening, deep cleaning or organizing a room, 

Journal/create/meditate

Seek out some good journal prompts. Free write. Draw or doodle or paint. Sculpt. This is the time to see what comes through you. Allow your subconscious space to communicate.

Stay connected

If your experience was connected to any sort of group, maintain connection with them! Engage in a WhatsApp group or on social media. 

If it was a local workshop, stay connected with the facilitator and explore their future offerings. The leader may have guidance for you to help integrating the experience.

Sometimes these people become friends for life.

Ayurveda and Integration

Many Ayurvedic principles are particularly supportive in the aftermath of a transformative experience. Ayurveda helps you eat for your body type and your imbalances, along with the flow of the seasons and environment; develop supportive routines; prioritize grounding and energetic practices that benefit all five koshas (physical and energetic levels of the body) - and much more: all of which are extremely beneficial during any times that present challenge.

If you’d like guidance along your journey, I’d love to connect. Send me a message to get in touch, and take a look at my Ayurvedic Coaching packages and see if one could be right for you.

Abhyanga: A practice of Self-Love and Nourishment

This past weekend, I had the pleasure and honor of offering an Abhyanga workshop as a part of an incredible women’s retreat at Breitenbush hot springs in Oregon. This nourishing ritual of oiling the body strongly resonated with many of the women who joined in, and I’d love to share a little about it here.

What is Abhyanga?

The essence of this ancient practice is oiling the body with an oil that is infused with medicinal herbs that help to balance the nervous system, soften the skin, support the musculoskeletal system, soften and bring luster to the skin, and much more. Doing this mindfully, lovingly, and with affection and intention differentiates Abhyanga from simply rubbing oil on the body hastily in an effort to get on to the next thing. 

The Sanskrit term Sneha refers to both oleation and maternal love. Physically, the body is softened, healed, and detoxified by the oil; energetically, the body finds grounding, relaxation, and calm. 

Abhyanga can be received by another person, and at many Ayurvedic wellness centers you may be able to schedule an Abhyanga massage which feels downright indulgent, but you can also practice an Abhyanga self-massage, which is a powerfully nourishing practice to heal a disconnection with the body and cultivate a deep sense of self love. 

Benefits of Abhyanga

The benefits of this practice are extensive. Not only does the skin become smooth, soft, and radiant, the revitalizing long strokes along the limbs of the body promote a healthy circulation and drainage of lymph, and help to tone the skin and tissues. Our skin absorbs the medicine that is infused into the oils, helping to support the joints, calm the nervous system, and promote a sense of calm. Practicing Abhyanga in the morning before a shower gifts you with glowing skin all day, and if practiced in the evening, can be a wonderful evening routine to relax you into a restful sleep.

Mindful massage helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system - our rest and digest flow - and reduce cortisol levels; reducing stress is the number one thing we can all do to care for ourselves, keep ourselves healthy, and promote balanced lifestyle!

If you have any areas of the body that are irritated, inflamed, or have any open wounds or burns, you may want to wait to perform an Abhyanga or avoid those areas of the body. Those experiencing excess kapha symptoms such as a chest cold or excess mucous may benefit more from dry brushing (mentioned more below) than an oil application. 

How to Practice Abhanga

You’ll want to start by choosing an oil. While you can use many different types of oil, a tridoshic daily massage oil is a wonderful place to start. If you know your doshic prakriti (balance) or vikriti (imbalance), you can find oils that are specific to different doshas. If you are wanting to you infuse your own oil, Vata types will want to use a warming sesame, or almond; Pitta types will love cooling coconut, or sunflower; Kapha will enjoy a heating safflower or mustard, or sunflower. If you are just getting started, you can use an oil you may already have on hand that doesn’t have herbs in it, but herbal infusion really takes the experience to the next level.

Make sure to start with a clear and calm mind. Prepare your space: you can do this right in your bathroom if it is comfortable (or even right in your bathtub or shower if you are going to get really oily. In the winter, I love to set up with a special towel I don’t mind getting oil on, on top of my yoga mat and right in front of the fireplace, light a couple of candles, and burn some palo santo or other incense and create a sense of sanctuary.

While setting up your space, begin to heat up your oil. A double boiler setup on a stove works really well. Heated oil absorbs into the skin better and feels so good! 

You may start with the head or the feet. Make sure your feet are clean either way for the best experience. I instinctively start with my feet for some reason; if you are not starting with your face or head, you may want to wash your hands before touching the sensitive skin on the face. Enjoy taking at least 10 and ideally towards 20 minutes to give attention to each part of the body. In my workshop, it was nice to give guidance in some creative ways to bring touch to different areas of the body, but I also find that we naturally can explore our relationship with ourselves, and what it feels like to touch our own precious body in a myriad of ways. Do what feels good!

The feet appreciate extra attention. Make sure you oil each and every toe, and even the webbing between the toes. Give love to the entire sole of the foot, and notice if you feel any ‘crunchy’ parts. In reflexology, these may indicate stuckness in the areas of the body that different parts of the sole of the foot are correlated with. 

Try long strokes along the limbs, and circular strokes around the joints. Give attention to the hands, wrists, palms, and don’t forget to massage along each finger and the webbing between each finger. 

Apply oil with a clockwise motion (up the right side, down the left) around the belly following the path of the intestines to aid in promoting balanced digestion. Spend time along the heart, sternum, breasts, chest, and collarbones. Reach around the shoulders and the back as you are able. If you have a partner, you can each self-massage and apply to each other’s backs. 

On the face, apply light oil with your palm and massage with one or two fingers, using gentle motions as you start from the middle and draw lines out towards the temple or jawbone, and then dropping down the neck. Reach around to the back of the neck and shoulders, base of skull, and don’t forget the ears!

A head and scalp massage is optional if you are not wanting to get extremely oily and have to wash hair, but recommended when time and space are available! Not only does it feel divine, but leaves the hair lustrous and healthy. 

Your Abhyanga can be before, during, or after a shower. If done beforehand, its nice to take anywhere from 5-20 minutes to allow the oil to penetrate into the pores. Soap isn’t necessary as the oil will absorb into your skin, and any extra can be toweled off with a dedicated towel when you are complete. That being said, you can use a small of soap if you like. 

If you try Abhyanga during a shower, make sure you have a cozy bathroom setup, maybe even a stool in your shower, and consider turning off the water so you can really take time with your ritual.

Post-shower Abhyanga is best done with a smaller amount of oil so that it doesn’t leave your skin feeling greasy. After the majority of oil is absorbed, towel off with your dedicated towel. 

Dry brushing and dusting

Dry brushing is a sister practice to abhyanga that is wonderful for those that are Kapha-dominant or experiencing a Kapha imbalance (i.e. sluggishness, heaviness, depression, stagnancy). While it deserves a write-up in itself, for now I’ll just mention that it helps to bring energy and stimulation to the body, and can be done head to toe, either on it’s own, or before an abhyanga. 

Dusting is a practice of creating a paste with chickpea flour and water, and covering the body with a light paste (in lieu of any soap at all) and allowing this to absorb extra oil and rinse off in the shower. I haven’t tried this part of the practice, most recommended for Vata or Kapha types, so I can’t speak from experience, but wanted to mention it if you’d love to explore taking this practice even further.

Do you want to learn more about how to integrate nourishing Ayurvedic practices into your life to uplift and amplify your wellbeing? Check out my Wellness Packages and book what suits you best - whether a single session Q+A or a 12 session comprehensive transformation journey!

Have you started an Abhyanga practice? I’d love to hear about your experience!

It's a New Year... What are you calling in?

How is this new cycle around the sun treating you so far?

In most cultures, a new year begins sometime in the depth of the winter or the early spring. Pagan cultures celebrate during the longest night of the year, on the winter solstice. The Lunar New Year in Chinese culture shifts each year, following the moon cycle and this year the 15 days of celebration begin February 10th. The Persian New Year, Nowrouz, is celebrated with the spring equinox. In Nepali culture both a solar and a lunar new year are celebrated.

I’m not sure that there is any particular date that is most correct in acknowledging this period of rest and rebirth during the cold, even frigid, short days, and as we look forward with hope for the bloom that is promised with the coming spring.

These days can go by in a blur of rain, wind, and snow, of soup and tea and down jackets and chunky sweaters, with glimmers of skiing, or witnessing the special sparkle the stars on a particularly dark night. 

As the metaphor of the seasons plays out before us, this is a wonderful and sacred period of time to do some deep and slow reflection. I’d love to share with you a few of the prompts, and I invite you to carve out some intentional time in reflection about what is ready to be laid to rest, and what you are welcoming in this new year.

• How have you created change in your life over the course of the last year?

• What are you ready to heal, release, honor, celebrate?

• What emotions do you most want to feel in this cycle around the sun? 

• What are you doing, and where are you, when you feel most alive? ...when you feel like your most authentic self? What gets you excited - what can you talk about or research for hours on end without getting bored? What kinds of activities are you involved in when you feel light, passionate, at ease, with joy in your heart and spirit?

• What do you desire to bring into being this year? Reflect on what this means for your body-mind ecosystem and your practices in your daily life, in your relationships with others, as well as from a purpose-driven, career, or goal-oriented perspective. 

• What are you not allowing yourself that may open the door to your highest potential? Where do you feel limitless?

• How can you take action to begin to set your intentions in motion?

Sound Vibration Massage: A Modality to Align the Body and Spirit

Recently when I was in Nepal, I added a new tool to my kit when I enrolled in an advanced sound healing certification: Sound Vibration Massage.

What is a Sound Vibration Massage?

Nada Yoga is the yoga of sound; using sound vibrations to heal the mind and body and bring it into a state of equilibrium. A vibrational sound massage incorporates the use of healing sound bowls both played in close vicinity to and directly on the body. Working along energy lines, chakra energy centers, and with acupressure points, the sound massage practitioner will use different sizes and styles of bowls on the body, playing them in a manner to elicit vibrations that are felt in your muscles, nerves, and deep into your bones. Tuning forks can be used in problematic areas or to target specific conditions, aches and pains, or energetic blockages. Bells, tingsha (chimes), and other gentle instruments can be brought in to enhance the auditory experience and help you relax into a meditative, and even trance-like state during your session.

What are benefits of a Sound Vibration Massage?

Sound vibration at specific frequencies helps to release energy blockages within the body. It helps to retune your body, mind, and spirit, and promote wellness throughout the physical, emotional, mental, and energetic layers of the body. On the physical level, it stimulates and awakens the nervous system, relieves tension in the muscles, and improves circulation. This modality can help to release stress, depression, anxiety, and reduce mood swings. 

Who should get one?

Most people can get a vibrational sound massage, although it is not recommended for those who have a pacemaker. 

This is a wonderful therapy for you if…

• you experience any kind of stress or anxiety, negative or depressive feelings, intrusive thoughts

• you are feeling out of alignment with your highest calling

• you are feeling a lack of connection with yourself or others

• you feel tension in the physical body, or notice blockages in your energetic body

• you need help getting into a truly relaxed state of being

• you are seeking to improve your focus, creativity

• you have problems with insomnia

Book a sound vibration massage with me!

My own reflections after my first Sound Vibration Massage

When I was learning the modality, I got to experience it on a physical level, but afterwards I made an appointment with the instructor so I could truly understand how this will feel to clients I work with. Afterwards I felt like I was floating through life, and took a few moments to jot down a stream of consciousness so that I could share with you the impact this had on my mind and body.

Completely charged up, in tune.
Both focused and in another plane at the same time.
Hyper aware. Bliss. Connected.
Aligned throughout body from head to toe.
Awakened and relaxed at the same time.
Gentle smile falls naturally on my face.
Soft. Recharged.
Like all the cells in my body have been touched and put back into place.
In love with the world.
Like I could go into meditation really easily from here.
Floating. Compassionate. Connected.
Easily in flow.
Connection between inner and outer world.
Like all my cells are vibrating with life.
Energy channels cleared.
Receptive. 

Why go on a wilderness yoga retreat?

The sun starts to fall lower in the sky; your legs are tired, your feet are sore. 

Finally you reach your campsite: a beautiful, open expanse of meadow dotted with a handful of tent-sites, overlooking a crystal blue alpine lake backed by craggy peaks. The sun is close to falling behind the mountaintops and you anticipate an incredible alpenglow display across the other side of the vista. You sigh as you set your pack down, enjoying the moment of respite that is especially sweet in those first few seconds of not carrying extra weight.

It’s time to pull out and tear into the bear canister, taking in immediate calories, bringing out the special snacks that you didn’t have easy access to during the day. It’s time to set up the tent, wash the dirt off the face, fill up with water, put together your simple kitchen, change into camp shoes and semi-clean nighttime baselayers. It’s time to nurture, stretch, and revel in the moment.

Maybe a few words with your campmates, maybe not. Depends on the energy of the evening. Last night there was a sangha (spiritual discussion) that really resonated; tonight is free time with an optional short restorative yoga sequence. Decide if you want to cook mac-n-cheese or rice noodles with miso and dehydrated veggies. Decide if you want to sit by the edge of the lake in the dying light with an extra layer or read the stars or a short passage from your book from the comfort of your sleeping bag.

Allow yourself to settle inward. The busyness of the day-to-day is far away. You’ve been out too long to worry about if you left the oven on, or paid the electric bill. That challenging conversation you need to have is processing on its own in the very back of your mind. The uncomfortable situation at work feels so incredibly distant and minuscule right now. Those deeper things that have been weighing on your heart, that you set an intention at the beginning of your trip to gain more clarity about, move through the body with each step as you ascend over mountains and into valleys… you feel as though in just these last couple of days you have arrived at a greater sense of visceral understanding of them.

You rest deeply. The ground is hard but you feel increasingly comfortable in your sleep setup, plus the body is so deeply tired after the energy you have expended all day that it descends easily into slumber. Dreams are crystal clear. In the morning you wake up with the sun. It’s a bit cold outside, but the golden light of daybreak teases you out of the tent for hot morning beverages. 

Everyone gathers to practice yoga. The practice begins gently and you ease into your body. All of the parts of you that ache from the night on the ground and from the challenge of hiking with a backpack are soothed, stretched, opened up, reawakened. From your head to your toes the whole body begins to light up and feel ready for the day ahead. Words and poetry from ancient and modern teachings are brought into savasana at the end of your practice, and today, they seem to land just right.

You feel more alive than you have in months.. maybe years. You feel stronger, clearer and inspired; you feel completely in the present moment, attuned to your deepest self.

I won’t promise that you will find a particular answer you are looking for if you join a wilderness pilgrimage with me, but will not be surprised if you arrive on the other side having an experience that in some way touches you to your core, immerses you in nature, and has you re-emerging with greater clarity, sense of connection, vision, peace in your heart, and excitement for life. 

What is Thai Massage and what are its benefits?

Thai Massage, affectionately called ‘the Lazy Person’s Yoga’, dates back centuries as an ancient practice rooted in Ayurveda, the science of life and sister science of yoga. It integrates acupressure and passive stretching and clears the energetic lines of the whole body. A practice of metta - lovingkindness - between practitioner and receiver, Thai Massage balances the energy within the body and is therapeutic for a variety of ailments, aches and pains.

Some things you may notice if you get a Thai Massage:

• You can stay clothed. You’ll want to wear something comfortable, loose fitting/stretchy, and women will be more comfortable without a bra. You’ll still want to remove all of your jewelry, and prepare for your massage with fresh clothes and clean hygiene just as you would for any other form of bodywork since we will be in close contact. 

• Thai Massage is done without or with very little oil. Sometimes I use salve or a touch of oil just on the hands and feet. You lay down on a floor mattress rather than a massage table. Because of the nature of the massage, your practitioner will be moving around - and moving you around - in ways that require their entire body, and can’t be done on a massage table

• We start with clean feet! Not only will I be touching your feet (unless you request that does not happen) - in many sequences, we actually start with the feet and work up - but I’ll be using their feet to massage you! I clean my feet before our session; I offer an epsom salt foot bath at the beginning of your session so that you can freshen up if you are coming from somewhere and would prefer to soak them before we get started

• Communication. Since some of the stretches involved have the opportunity to be quite deep, a good practitioner will be checking in to make sure things feel just right. You’ll also need to share about any areas of concern in your body (old injuries, current restrictions) to make the experience as safe and enjoyable as possible.

• You may leave feeling… energized, taller, and have more clarity. You may feel reduced stress. You may feel like a puddle of mush. You may sleep better. You may feel into your heart and have an upwelling of emotion or release. You may feel like you’ve let go of negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, or depression. Allow whatever comes up to be, and just take notice. 

• You’ll probably have continued effects the next day(s). Because the energy clearing that happens continues to resonate through your body, you may notice feeling even better the following day after your Thai Massage.

Benefits

Each style of massage has its own specialty that it targets, whether calming the nervous system, targeting fascia and deep tissue blockages, or simply feeling good. Thai Massage is especially effective for: 

• Relieving lower back and joint pain. There are a lot of approaches used in Thai massage that really help to loosen and relieve the lower back from compression. A lot of work that is done by moving the legs and manipulating the body in different positions helps to release tightness held in the lower back. Joint pain is also lessened by the gentle stretches that are part of the sequences.

• Improving blood and lymph circulation. Because Thai Massage is like getting yoga done to you, it increases circulation in both the blood and lymph systems.

• Clearing energetic blockages. Working along energetic lines of the body, similar to the meridians known from Chinese medicine, this practice helps to create a whole-body sense of renewal and boost of energy.

• Improving range of motion and flexibility. Whether you are an athlete looking to improve performance or in a stage of life where you feel like your range of motion is reduced, Thai Massage has been documented to show improvement in these areas.

• Relief from headaches. Studies have shown that Thai Massage can ease symptoms from migraine and tension headaches for several days to weeks afterwards. 

Intrigued? Book a session with Natalie in her warm and welcoming space at Mountain Yoga Studio in downtown Susanville, CA.

Take some time to reset with sound

What kinds of sounds are you surrounded by in general over the course of a day? Of the week? Are they soothing, jarring, loud, soft? Are they usually people’s voices, mechanical, musical, man-made, or sounds from nature? Are there distinct sounds where you work, and if so, how do they make you feel? Can you control what you listen to, and if so, what do you choose?

Our auditory experience has a lot of influence on how we feel. Sound carries vibration, and that can affect us at a cellular level. If the sounds around us are harsh and grating, it can affect our nervous system; if we are more often surrounded by nature and softer, gentler sounds, it promotes a state of relaxation. Take a moment to think about how what you hear on a daily basis, and if there are any shifts you’d like to make to reduce the amount of sounds that disturb you and increase bringing in more of what you’d like to hear. In yogic philosophy, while on one hand we practice detachment and exercise control of our responses to external stimuli, we also recognize that all that we consume, not just in food but in thoughts, ideas, and sounds, can influence us.

A healing sound bath can help to shift our state of mind deeper by using rhythm and frequency to attune the brain waves through states of consciousness (from awake and alert presence into progressively deeper meditative states). As we surrender from beta and into theta and delta waves, we cultivate creativity, emotional connection, intuition, and relaxation; we reinforce our immune system and promote natural healing and deep restoration.

Join us for a healing sound bath on Saturday, October 8th, as the full moon rises. Let the calming and soothing vibrations gently reset and release any ama, or stagnant energy, held in the body, and invite in a feeling of renewal.

Link to save your spot: https://get.mndbdy.ly/jf6m3FGTFtb

Save and play this 3-minute video when you have a moment to close your eyes, breathe, listen, and reset. (Even better if you can put in headphones or play through a speaker!)

Reflections: A yoga-focused backpacking trip to Iva Bell Hot Springs

A dream of mine came true this summer when I had the opportunity to lead a small group of friends together on a yoga-focused backpacking trip in the mountains of the Sierra Nevada.

These two seemingly separate disciplines are incredible when paired. I’ve known it inside for a long time… long before my first teacher training, when I was working in the backcountry for Sequoia National Park, I would practice yoga in the evenings to release sore muscles after expending energy all day hiking to our study sites. I would meditate in my tent in the mornings, swaddled in my sleeping bag, watching my breath in the cold. When deepening my study of yoga in the studio, especially as we learned about tapas (discipline, inner fire) and inner strength, I would recall my backpacking days of pushing through my discomfort to continue on. When my feet hurt, I would chant a mantra to thank them with each step. The stillness and quiet of the backcountry, being immersed in the amazing creation that is Mother Earth, allowed me to find that deep source of centering within my own self.

I’ve done several solo trips where I prioritize yoga and meditation, and I’ve practiced a little bit of yoga when on other group trips. But to coordinate a community yoga-focused experience was something completely unique. I’ve tried to initiate this in the past but things have always fallen through… usually due to a challenge in finding support to navigate permits or things of that nature.

A beautiful group came together with me this year on my very first ‘beta’ trip. The energy was balanced; we came together as a community. We walked in silence and we shared stories. We laughed together, explored the world together, and explored ourselves. Each of us had moments of catharsis and discovery as we experienced pure joy as well as healed wounds that only being in the backcountry for a week can do.

Each morning was greeted with meditation, mantra, and an awakening asana practice. We had a relaxing breakfast, and would pack up for the day’s walk. For the most part, we hiked about 5-7 miles/day. We even did a short cross-country short-cut which was the first time some people had done any off-trail hiking. We stayed at the hot springs for two days relaxing, and enjoyed an amazing partner+Thai massage session led by my friend Sierra. In the afternoons, I mixed up the yoga itinerary a little bit, offering a mix of yin/gentle yoga, yoga nidra, and free time. Each day was themed with learning about yoga philosophy such as the kleshas (afflictions, causes of suffering), yamas and niyamas (ways of living), and other excerpts to reflect on from the yoga sutras. The stepping away from all of the worldly distractions in conjunction with carefully selected material to process created a truly transformational experience, in mind and body.

The challenges to getting this together were significant: the constant changing conditions of COVID, the fires (I was under evacuation on the days leading up to the trip, and just a couple days after our return all forests in California were closed due to fire risk), missing the deadline for a commercial use permit and deciding instead to take a leap and offer this as a small friends-and-acquaintences-only yoga-themed trip instead of operating in a way that brought in any financial reward. But when you are on the path to doing something you are meant to do, things come together magically.

My Intuitive Spring Cleanse

It’s been a year. 

A full year of Covid, a full year of change.

Last year I was in Nepal at this time, just getting into the Himalayan mountains. This year I have been super grounded in Janesville, California. Working on developing my business, working on myself, exploring presence rather than exploring the world. It’s been awesome, and hard, and all the feelings in between.

But the days are lengthening and the weather is warming and everything is awakening and it is time to cleanse all of the old and prepare this body for newness.

I knew I wanted to cleanse and I enjoy this spring ritual when I was bike riding with a good friend in Bishop and felt heaviness in my body.

Laurie always challenges me when we ride together. Feeling the heaviness in my body this time, I was inspired to take action on the cleanse I had been thinking about doing.

I knew that I wanted to cleanse but I didn’t want to create anything too restrictive. I sought for this experience something easy, enjoyable, flavorful, and a resetting experience to embrace a lightening of my body, focusing of my mind, and nourishment of my gut. 

So, I gave myself few rules and went to Grocery Outlet and bought all the fruits and veggies that appealed to me that I knew would be good as juices or smoothies. Knowing myself, sometimes I can allow obstacles to arise and I didn’t want to count on my own willpower alone to create all my juices and smoothies from scratch so I purchased a few pre-made juices as well. 

Below I’ll share a few notes about how it went, what I made for myself, how my energy levels were as it progressed. 

Day 1 - Tuesday March 23

Today’s juices:
Mango-apple-orange juice (Bolthouse)
Veggie stock (premade)

First thing in the morning my sweetie has been making me coffee on the reg. And you know what, I have quit coffee in the past, I feel fairly fine either way with it, and I figured I could allow myself a single cup of this indulgence. Some cleanses will recommend against it; I’ve cut it out before, and I just don’t feel like cutting it out right now. Maybe I will in a couple days. Anyhow, if you want to judge me you can, I don’t really care.

I had a few things I was trying to get done yesterday, so I didn’t turn my attention to making custom juices. But this mango juice was a great way to start and kept me going all day!

In the evening it was veggie stock. The savoriness was delicious!

Day 2 - Wednesday March 24

Today’s juices:
Apple-pineapple-mango-banana-kiwis (Green goodness - Bolthouse)
Carrot-apple-celery-lemon
Cabbage-celery-lemon-apple
Papaya-coconut milk
Lemon-maple syrup-cayenne
Veggie stock (premade)

This was a great concocting day! I started the day and drank the entire 1.5L bottle of green goodness by 4pm, but was knee deep in making fresh juices I’m so stoked about! I’ll be drinking them over the next couple days.

Energy levels were great today!

Days 3 & 4 - Thursday & Friday, March 25-26

Continued with some of the drinks I had prepared (listed above) as well as beet juice (Naked). I also simmered down the veggie remains from juicing the carrots, celery, and cabbage to make a delicious homemade veggie broth. I always hate how much waste happens during juicing. A lot of times I’ll use a recipe I found years ago to mix them with ground flax (as a binder), add water and whatever preferred spices I like, and dehydrate them to make crackers. This is awesome but also labor intensive.

Thursday afternoon and evening my emotional levels started to plummet and continued that way until Friday morning. 

Friday to counter the negative mood I awoke in, I went to a morning yoga class in town. Lucky for me the theme was detoxing and we did a lot of work on the digestive system, twists and heart openers. After this I felt absolutely energized, electric, and on fire all the rest of the day!

Day 5 & 6 - Saturday & Sunday, March 27-28

Today’s juices:
Pineapple Mango (Tropicana)
Cabbage-celery-apple-lemon
Carrot apple ginger
Strawberry banana lime smoothie
Kale-romaine-parsley-lemon-ginger-celery-cucumber-pear (Roots Juice Bar: Green Machine))
Watermelon (Evolution)
Veggie broth (premade)

Saturday morning I taught a 2-hour Ashtanga workshop and, having finished all of my homemade concoctions, drank a Tropicana Pineapple Mango juice. The simple fact that I taught an Ashtanga workshop should indicate to y’all that I was feeling strong and fueled up through the cleanse.

Then I came back to prep some more juices and made another round (listed above). The latter two of these were my main juices over these couple days. It was fantastic to have them ready for grab and go.

Feeling on fire, super-positive, light in my body, and creatively curious, I went to Bidwell park to look at flowers in the afternoon, and drove to my friend’s house in Redding for the evening, drinking another veggie broth at night. 

Sunday we went to Roots Juice Bar in Redding to start the morning, where I got a Green Machine, which contained a lot of leafy greens that I can’t do well because my juicer is not a masticating type. After I left her place I went to Sprouts and reloaded on some more fruits and veggies. I also splurged on a couple Evolution cold pressed juices: Watermelon, and another Essential Greens.

Day 7 - Monday March 29

Today’s juices:
Cucumber-pear-ginger-apple-lime
Blueberry-blackberry-banana-lime-coconut milk smoothie

Woke up with a lot of energy in the morning but then started to drag. This is the first I’ve felt a dip in energy much.

I’ve been reading some blogs in the last day or two about others’ experiences doing juice cleanses. I was interested to find some patterns in relation to energy levels, as well as some inspo for different things I could possibly incorporate, and more about nutrition. Unfortunately, a lot of articles I came across were focused more on the struggles to not eat, the cravings, the hunger. I understand these because I have had those problems in the past. These blogs I’ve been reading come from doing a cleanse as a challenge, and treat it in their minds as such, and it creates s cycle of difficulty.

It’s interesting to me, because this time I am not having any struggles at all. It is mindset. Also paired with the limited social landscape we can find ourselves in during Covid; i.e. its a lot easier to abstain when you’re not getting invited to parties, or dinners out, etc. But still, I find that during this experience, I’ve adopted a perspective of commitment instead of challenge. A perspective of health and wellbeing and vitality rather than an objective to lose weight. Sometimes I crave small things, but the change in mindset makes it easier to look past them.

Today I will maybe make some more juice as well as begin to prepare some whole grains. I am skiing tomorrow and I don’t want to lose all vitality.

Also, I’ve been eating a handful of nuts here and there as need be. Some days none, some days 1-2 handfuls, first cashews, and at sprouts i got walnuts and Brazil nuts. The Brazil nuts I nibble, taking my time to consume the entire nut. 

Days 8 & 9 - Tuesday & Wednesday, March 30-31

Today’s sustenance:
Oat-chia pudding with honey-blueberry-blackberry-strawberry and coconut milk
Barley cooked in veggie stock
Pitaya smoothie (Mammoth Juice Cafe)

So, Ive only been downhill skiing once this year, and I haven’t seen a dear friend who is a ski instructor there for a year and a half. So when Kelly said she still had a couple friends and family passes left I jumped on the chance to see her and get on the mountain.

But, I didn’t want to be weak for skiing. In addition to the juice I prepared yesterday, I made a couple of very simple foods to provide me protein, fibre, calories I would need to stay strong as well as be very clean.

These kept me from being hungry and I’ll be honest, I felt really strong and capable on the mountain both days. I also treated myself to a delicious pitaya-based smoothie from a juice cafe in Mammoth. 

Day 10 - Thursday April 1

Mix of juices already listed above (mostly berry smoothie, watermelon, and lemon) and a few very clean, simple foods (walnuts, Brazil nuts, grapefruit).

Today I’m feeling incredible. I haven’t weighed myself - I’m not a weight numbers oriented person - but I feel sooooo much lighter in my body, so much less craving for sugars, breads, and junk food, and a million times more energetic in my body and focused in my mind.

I still don’t have a great desire to break or change, although I will probably start to ease out a little bit as I am preparing for a several day camping trip and want to be able to eat deliciously. I’ll start working on preparing a menu for the trip so that I can continue to eat clean and begin to work this into a longer term change.

Breaking the fast - Friday April 2

Originally I wanted to do the juice cleanse as a lead into Shankaprakshalana, a yogic colon cleanse practice. Aside from simply cleaning myself from the inside out, I’ve previously used that practice to reset my gut when I returned from India with some sort of gut parasite. 

However, the juice days continued and I was feeling fantastic, and I ran into a situation where I had to make a choice. I had a trip planned to go camping in the desert, and I didn’t really want to continue juice fasting for the duration of the trip, nor enforce the very strict, very clean diet one needs to abide by in the days following the Shankaprakshalana practice while I was camping. So I decided to begin to break the fast.

I did this with a very basic, simple meal of barley and simple root vegetables: potatoes, carrots, celery, cooked lightly in oil, seasoned with salt, pepper, cumin, and turmeric. Next, I planned my meals for the trip pretty cleanly, but did have some alcohol, chips n guac, pizza (made in my brand new Dutch oven!), etc. I did take the opportunity, as I started introducing new foods, to notice their subtle effects on me. Each time I do a cleanse like this, I am reminded of what really makes my body feel good, and in the following weeks and so forth I find it easier to reinforce good choices for nurturing my body.

Parting thoughts…

I love finding this kind of reset in my mind and body. While time consuming (I spent a lot of time preparing juices and smoothies and cleaning my appliances!), its completely worth it! I feel lighter, cleaner, more focused, and more intent on carrying forward with a diet free from preservatives, sugar, and processed foods, and integrating more whole foods into my daily choices. It is also a double check - after a long, dark winter - into keying into what my body needs.

Thanks for reading! Drop a note in the comments about your experiences with cleansing of any sort! I love to try new things to help my body feel great!

Day 7 - Paudwar to Ghorepani

Today was a lot of maybes. How far would we be able to get? If we made it all the way to Ghorepani, would we be allowed to stay? Would we need to go to Australian Camp, and meet with others to catch a vehicle there? Everything felt so unclear.

The walk was stunningly beautiful. First we retraced our steps to Swanta, and then stayed down low by the river, sitting down for a while by the water, drinking in the last moments of being in this valley. Inside me was that distinct and barely describable feeling captured only by the Portuguese word saudade, which I always feel when I leave the mountains, but even more poignant than usual.

We continued, traversing the side of the hill, then dropping down further to the river again, following it for a while, and then going up up up to Ghorepani, taking our time, stopping for lunch, for tea. As we approached Ghorepani, the rhododendron forests became truly spectacular: twisted contortions of branches highlighted with peeling, shedding, reddish brown bark... and literally millions of deep pink flowers.

As we walked, Kavee was texting and reaching out to contacts he had on the trail to make a plan to get us out the best way possible. He was worried that even though he’d gotten us clearance down in Tatopani, and that I had a medical statement, we could run into trouble in Ghorepani just because it is such a high tourist destination, the lockdown could be more strongly enforced there than in the smaller villages we’d been staying in. 

Upon arrival, Ghorepani was a ghost town. The only thing to greet us was a few horses, and apparently the area is known for its horses, Ghorepani even means ‘place of horses’ or something like that. Everything, absolutely everything was closed. Heads turned as we walked by. A longtime guide through this region, Kavee has friends at a hotel that allow us to stay. There is only one other guest, a single Nepali man. No one else is there aside from the family: a couple of young women who each tended to their own young baby, and a mom and dad. 

After relaxing for a few, we walk up to Poon Hill. We have it completely to ourselves. There can be thousands of tourists here each day so it felt so special. The clouds gather and swirl and eventually clear out enough for us to view the mountains in perfect alpenglow. Prayer flags adorn the empty benches and it is just us and an immense view in all directions. Kavee chants on our way down; I take photos and allow myself the time to process the transition and closing of a chapter.

After dinner we sat around a fire in a huge wood stove, just our small group: me, Kavee, the other traveler, and the family - children running around in laugher, the you women in fleece printed pants and blankets.. it was so informal, so raw. Just as I didn’t know what was going to be happening, neither did they.

Day 6: Narchyang to Paudwar

When I first woke up I felt good about calling off the plans... I’d agonized over the decision the night before, making a tearful call to a friend in the states the night before. Anxiety had overwhelmed me, and I felt relief having a decision made. However, as the morning progressed and I gazed at the landscape around me, I questioned it: why should I give up, when I was already here, when I was safe. By my reasoning, Nepal was a safe zone, there were no active cases, and I had been deep in another village before coming directly to the Annapurna region. My only potential exposure was the bus ride here and it was so unlikely.

The village of Tatopani down below.

Maybe we could go to the base camp before heading out. I looked at the map... it looked potentially achievable in three days round trip... we could hike at a fast clip heading back out and even just go to Tatopani where there could be some tourist transport, even if that meant sheltering in a hotel until it arrived. There was a potential incredible adventure ahead.

My mind was carrying a lot of stress. I really didn’t know what I wanted. This was unprecedented. If the world is shutting down there’s nowhere I’d rather be than in the middle of the most incredible mountains in the world, with temples, caves, and mystic sites to explore in every direction my feet could carry me, with an incredible friend who was able and willing to take me anywhere we decided to go. At the same time I didn’t want to jeopardize my ability to get home. I broke down crying more than once in the morning.  

See the trail in the middle cutting a line through the hillsides? Such steep terrain.

Kavee walked down to the police checkpoint to ask for police clearance for me to walk back via Ghorepani and Ulleri. Unlike in the US, lockdown means lockdown in Nepal, and it is much more strongly enforced. The clearance meant we could walk the way back, so I could continue my time on foot and in the mountains before being restricted to whatever hotel I landed in when I got back to the city. 

Later in the morning, the porter who had been here the night before arrived, because at some point in my indecision, we’d reached out to him again. He and Kavee talked at length about creating a route that does go to North Annapurna Base Camp before exiting. But when it was translated to me, it sounded like too much of a push: 40 km/day for a couple days, with potentially deep, unstable snow conditions... this was starting to sound sketchy. As much as my heart ached deep to the core to stay, I knew it was time to go. I didn’t want to force anything, or to do anything unsafe. 

Upon making the final decision, I felt antsy in Narchyang, and suggested to Kavee that we leave for Paudwar for the afternoon. We quickly packed and hiked back along the canyon, in cool cloudy weather and misty rain, pausing down at the river to let it wash around me as I laid on the river rock... stopping to meditate on the suspension bridge... savoring each step. 

Even as I edit my notes from this day, two months later, my heart breaks and my eyes tear up at the memory. 

Arriving in Paudwar as dusk falls

Day 5 - A Day in Narchyang

The morning awakens with even more uncertainty than the night before.

Because I’d had cell phone service, I’d spent too much time looking at the numbers, staying up too late, reading the news, going back and forth between COVID news from the US and from Nepal, wondering how long this lockdown would truly go on, wondering what I should do. 

Our plan from here was to go up and into North Annapurna Base Camp. Kavee hadn’t been there before but had wanted to go. It would require camping for a few days. The provisions he talked about having for us were pretty basic... and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be quite that basic. He was talking about sleeping without a sleeping bag, using caves and fires as protection... trusting nature and the elements... that as a devotional yogi this is how he had spent most of his personal alone time in the wilderness. My own sleeping bag wasn’t that warm and at Khopra Danda there had been significant snow: I wasn’t confident my bag was up to the higher elevation stuff completely in the elements.

The valley behind the ridge begins the route to the North Base Camp.

We also considered hiring a porter as one could be had for $15/day. It would enable us to carry more and a greater variety of food and have a few more creature comforts. 

There was also concern about scouting the correct route and whether the pass would be navigable. But we could always turn back.

Camping seemed to be the best option; I was feeling increasingly like a fugitive in the villages. I’d at least get somewhere interesting, incredible, and feel like I had achieved something before being turned around early. The North Base Camp is challenging and not well travelled. It would satisfy my overwhelming desire to be deep in the Himalayas. 

Incredible waterfall above Narchyang.

To pass this day, we stayed in town to collect our thoughts and make a plan. In the morning, we walked up to the incredible waterfall in town, where there was a Shiva temple. I spent a long time in meditation... to find my own calm and peace, as well as for the world. The clouds shifted in the sky revealing and obscuring Nilgiri, Dhaulaghiri, and several other peaks near and far. A woman with goats followed us up the trail and shared time with us at the temple. The combination of the long sit and being in such a powerful presence fo the mountains and the temple calmed the anxiety that had been with me since arising. 

Shiva temple at the waterfall above lower Narchyang.

After lunch we walked to upper Narchyang, a beautiful traditional village about 1.5 hours up the hill from lower Narchyang. Along the road on the way up we scoped the beginning of the route to North Annapurna Base Camp. Between maps, conversations with locals, and reading the landscape, we started piecing together an idea to proceed. If we got out of the town on the route towards the base camp, we likely wouldn’t see people for several days.

Peeling a ground apple.

Two-thirds of the way up to the village, Kavee indicated to take a side path. It literally went through an outdoor annex of someone’s house where the family was cooking over an open fire. Kavee knew the man of the house after many times of passing through the area, and he asked them if we could buy some ground apples. This delicious root vegetable tastes light and fruity, crispy like an apple and sweet, but looks like a potato or yuca or squash prior to being peeled.

We kept climbing higher to reach the village, and upon arriving I found it to be even more quaint and charming than the last. Kavee tells me about how the higher up the hillside we go, the more traditional and preserved the villages are. No cars come here... yet. A road is being built. How will this change in five years, or ten?

Upper Narchyang village.

This man wa weaving a basket. Various designs of these are made throughout Nepal and used on a daily basis to carry anything you can imagine.

Collecting Nettles.

After walking through the village, as we began to head down, we collected nettles for dinner, using a piece of bamboo, split vertically down the middle, to pull them off their stinging shoots. As we began to harvest just outside the village, the local children start yelling Corona at me, and in Nepali saying we shouldn’t be there.

A feeling of melancholy began to swell inside me. This wasn’t how I want to feel when I’m traveling and exploring a place. My heart was heavy, and I quietly descended, enjoying the falling light of the evening over the valley below.

A man who’d offered to be our porter arrived later that evening. I obsessively read news and numbers while he and Kavee started planning logistics to trek to North Annapurna Base Camp. He wants to bring a few more amenities and food items - this was fine by me! While I’m resilient I don’t like to suffer more than necessary. They talked the living room for over an hour deciding on a route, food, gear, and conditions. Even so, my anxiety was increasing.

Then, I landed on a page informing me about about embassy evacuations. I started to read the news... as I did.. as much as I wanted to leave the nightmare that the world is becoming to trek more deeply into the sacred mountains... I became unsure about going several days without cell service. The world was changing so fast - day to day, minute to minute. While every cell of my being wanted to stay, it seemed like the right thing to do was in touch with the embassy, and see about getting home.

Even though he’d only left about half an hour, I told Kavee to call the porter and cancel. 

Day 4 - Khopra Danda to Narchyang

At daybreak, the sky was clear and the views incredible. It was everything I wanted: to be in such a mountainous, magical place, deep in the Himalaya, with Annapurna I and Annapurna South rising immensely in front of me. The soft morning sun glowed on the ridges of these majestic peaks... I wanted to stay so badly. To descend felt like caressing a dream for a moment only to have it dissolve in my fingertips. But the time wasn’t right. The sky would be closing in soon for another day of clouds and snow on a trail that already wasn’t well defined due to recent snowfall; the lodge workers wanted to leave and head home to their families. For the time being, I gave thanks that I was able to experience simply being in the mountains and feeling their presence. 

There is a route straight to our destination of Narchyang but the beginning of this is undefined in the snow, and impractical. A group of three Nepali trekkers had actually gotten lost on it recently for two days before they were found. 

Instead, we followed the steep route down via Paudwar. My knees took a beating on relentless stone steps that take us from 3640m (11940 ft) at Khopra Danda to 2000m (6560 ft) at Paudwar, descending further to 1190m (3900 ft) In Narchyang by the end of the day: a total elevation loss of 2450m (8,040 ft). In the space of a few hours, we transitioned from thigh-deep snow in alpine tundra, through subalpine forests and meadows, to forests of tall and elegant rhododendron, and on down to terraced farmland growing potatoes and brassicas, and continuing to descend towards the banks of the Kali Gandaki River, where even bananas and a great variety of fruit trees grow.

Lunch stop was in the picturesque village of Paudwar. Kavee suggested staying here if I’d like, that the family is ok with us staying there. Not entirely clear with what he meant by that, my preference was to continue; it was only 2pm. The goal was to get to Narchyang, avoiding Tatopani. There is a tourist police station in Tatopani, and Kavee is a little worried that if we encounter officials they may stop us from continuing to trek; either putting us on a bus back to Pokhara or keeping us quarantined in a hotel for an undetermined amount of time.

Between looking at marginally accurate maps and talking to locals, he scouts out an upper route traversing the mountainside. Along route the locals look me up and down, ask us about our trek, what we are doing. I hear him mention my doctor’s note on occasion, see them nod their heads. The tone had changed: being a foreigner suddenly was not welcome as it normally is in these villages that both maintain their traditional ways and invite travelers and seekers from around the world to witness the surrounding sacred sites and high country. 

The media was spreading fear; while the country to this point had only three confirmed cases of the virus, all Nepali citizens who had travelled abroad, the conversation perpetuated by the media was that it is a virus carried by foreigners. The villagers are quick to perpetuate rumors and sensationalize false news. He tells them how I have been in the country for over two months, and am safe, that I do not have the virus. As we walk he expressed concern about us being seen by tourist police, or by locals talking. At this point I’m starting to wonder if, even though it is amazing to be out here... should I start to think about going back? I asked him if he minds guiding me; if he was worried about police, I wondered if his guiding license could be compromised. He replied he was fine, that things should be ok, that we have all paperwork necessary. 

Even with the strange undercurrent starting to pervade village life and my experience as one of the only foreigners in the Annapurna Sanctuary as COVID-19 marched around the globe, the movement and scenes along the walk are beautiful. Spring flowers emerging, phenology evolving before my eyes as we continued to drop in elevation. Children playing in the roads. Women washing. The sounds of the bells on the buffalo, chickens rooting around for insects along the trail margins, small herds of black and white goats. My favorite mental image is of an old man, completely barefoot, walking along the trail, jacket torn in rags, and the most resilient mountain village spirit in his eyes. Homes are simple, stone and wood. Scenery changes as we round the mountainsides to get a view of the next valley, even more stunningly beautiful than the last.

Exhausted, we arrived in lower Norchyang. The village is delightful, built for human movement along narrow alleyways, shared with more flapping hens and running roosters, the occasional kitten, local people moving about and clustering in small storefronts, some with masks, some staring at me unabashedly. In the center of town Kavee leaves me to sit with with his pack while he left to find a hotel. I sat, alone in the village made mostly of these wide, flat stones, in the intersection of two pathways. As I waited an old woman, with deep lines in her face and a surprisingly nimble body, came out of her home to look at me, making hand gestures in an attempt to communicate. I smiled my sweetest smile. Another woman approached, bringing her goats back home; she greets me, smiles. I show her pictures on my phone from Khopra Danda; she echoes the place names as she looks at them.

No hotel will take us; Kavee returned with the news.

No hotel will take us; Kavee returned with the news. They aren’t to take foreigners any more. Upon his return, several locals gathered around, until there were about 15-20 of them, all asking him the questions they couldn’t ask me due to my language barrier, discussing our predicament and fate for the evening. I have no idea what is going on. 

No one will take us; we have two options. The first is to walk two hours further, up to upper Norchyang, where it is also uncertain whether someone will take us. The second is to walk 30-45 minutes back to Tatopani, but if we go there we would be quarantined alone in our rooms until transportation was arranged to take us back to Pokhara. Neither of these sounded very favorable. 

More Nepali talking, more uncertain glances by the women, so many people at once; it was terribly uncomfortable to be the center of attention yet not have a clue what was being said. Finally a homestay was arranged. A man who had been one of the main people talking to Kavee invited us into his jeep and took us down the road to a home; a woman welcomed us in, gave us separate, comfortable rooms, and proceeded to make dal bhat. The family that took us in is kind; they live in an adjacent building and were getting this place started as a homestay. To my understanding because they weren’t officially open yet they were able to bend the rules that had been implemented suddenly prohibiting offering accommodation to foreigners. Apparently the doctor’s note Kavee had advised me to get in advance actually helped us get a place to stay.

We were drained: I was completely out of energy both physically and emotionally.  All of a sudden the shit had hit the fan, even though I was about as far away as one could get from anything. I went to sleep early, feeling somewhat like a fugitive being hid away; feeling unwelcome - not at a personal level but at a stereotypical level. All of a sudden the future felt extremely uncertain.

Day 3 - Swanta to Khopra Danda

Because the lockdown was supposed to start at 6am, Kavee wanted our movement through the village to be early in the morning so that we would not cause any suspicion amongst the locals. So we awoke early to the alpenglow over Dhaulagiri and started our walk through rural terraced wheat fields and into beautiful forest greenery, traversing the side of a mountain. Everything was moist and lush and you could smell the earth and dirt so fresh in the air. He taught me some new mantras as we walked for a while. 

Fungus among us.

At a stunning waterfall we bathed, practiced trataka (a gazing meditation), and rested in the sun. Two tourists, probably from Germany/Netherlands, arrived just as we were leaving; they were first and only foreigners I’d seen so far. Somehow it was reassuring to see them and feel like I wasn’t completely alone. While I love to walk in the wilderness in solitude, with the effects of a lockdown beginning around us, the feeling that I wasn’t the only foreigner out here in this part of the Himalayas made it feel more normal. As our route followed side trails of the circuit, avoiding all of the tourist police checkpoints, I had started to wonder in the back of my mind how much it was really ok for me to be here; at this point I had all the correct paperwork but because we hadn’t passed any stations I was undocumented. 

With the world closing down as the pandemic spread, on this day I relished the feeling that of all the places in the world that I could be, as it does so I was given the gift of being in the Himalayas. Here in the world’s biggest mountains, I was socially distant from everyone except Kavee, and the birds and the rhododendron and the stillness in the exposed rock of the cliffs. I spent more time in meditation, both in the morning and evening, as well as with each step we took on ancient paths that wove up and down impossibly steep hillsides. Whatever world I walked back to, whenever I walked back, it would be a different world - both here in Nepal as well as back at home. So many people were suffering and dying, the economy was beginning to collapse, and the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty was creeping through everyone - with this gift of being here I wanted to bring a message of healing back home, to send back a piece of the peace of the mountains, forests, and valleys.

It was a climb to Dhunkharka where we lunched, and more of a climb to Khopra Danda. Ascending, it became increasingly snowy, and the sky closed over us as we walked up into the clouds, so that again everything was white; sometimes the clouds danced around revealing hints of blue above and revealing different views of the landscape.

. . . with this gift of being here I wanted to bring a message of healing back home, to send back a piece of the peace of the mountains, forests, and valleys.

Got my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds.

The hallway to the rooms of the lodge

The community lodge was basic; the rooms were stone and wooden and cold themselves. There were three Nepali guys there; no other guests. One man was a yak farmer who lived in a nearby town; we had seen his herd of about 120 yaks on a hillside while we’d been hiking. The guys were a bit tipsy and making a lot of jokes with each other and giggling. During the high season, this place can have 60-70 visitors in a night with people sleeping out in the kitchen area. They were thinking of closing the place down soon due to lack of visitors. The funds from this community lodge go to the surrounding community and help support schools and opportunities for the local people.

The next day we’d been hoping to go up to the high lake which is a day hike up into the mountains a bit higher. However, the forecast was for continued snow and clouds the following day; the trail we’d be following was already newly snowed in following the recent days’ storms as well. 

Without internet at the lodge there was a little bit of respite from being concerned about what was going on in the world. I’d been obsessively watching the numbers of confirmed Covid-19 cases grow on the worldometers website, following all of the news. Some of this was in fascination, as well as concern for whether or not I would be able to likely get home on my flight scheduled for April 20th. Without connectivity I lived in the moment, reading, talking broken English with the guys as the guesthouse, warming my feet by the fire.

A simple shrine on the pathway on the way up to Khopra Danda

Day 2 - Mohare Danda to Swanta

Even though we’d talked about getting up around 7 Kavee knocked on my door around 6:20 - Get up! The sunrise - it’s beautiful! And so I left the comfort of my thick blankets into the frigid morning, everything covered in a fresh layer of snow, and all the mountains around, looming in front of us incredibly large: the Annapurna Massif, Machipacchure, Dhaulagiri and all of its subpeaks, Nilgiri. It was incredible. The soft light illuminating the forest, lighting up the twinkling crystals of snow on the ground. The air was frigid but when something is so awe-inspiring it is easy to forget the cold, and as the sun rose at the high altitude it rapidly warmed the air.

Annapurna South from Mohare Danda

We had tea and apple pancakes with jam for breakfast, and shortly after set off into the snow, following the ridge line, and heading down. Kavee talks about mantras and chanting. We practice a yogic jogging series that he does in the mornings and was a really nice flow and start to the morning. The clouds move back and forth revealing different parts of the mountains in between. 

Me with lemon tea and Dhaulagiri in the background at Mohare Danda community lodge.

As we descend we go again through incredible rhododendron forest. Kavee says they are his favorite trees. The more I tread through them I can understand why that is. They are majestic with warm toned peeling bark, thick trunks that twist this way and that, the large massive ones collecting mosses and lichens that make them soft and huggable. The filtered light comes through and illuminates the forest floor that is an orange ochre highlighted with pink petals freshly fallen from the overstory.

Small temple in the middle of the rhododendron forest.

There is a tiny temple unexpectedly in the middle of this forest and next to a lush stream. We sit and meditate here for some time. It is a peaceful place, one of those places you can tuck away in the back of your mind and return to when you are in the midst of chaos and need a moment of quiet and clarity.

As we continue the clouds close in and soon it starts raining. We pass through Dhankharka, which means the place of flowers; it is a tiny village opening in the center of rhododendron forests all around. It must be stunningly beautiful in just a couple of weeks when the flowers peak.

Lunch is in another small village that is along a road we come to. The house is very simple, one room with a small kitchen towards the back. There are a couple women on a bench on the opposite site of the room. They eye me almost suspiciously. There are two men drinking homemade rum and chain smoking cigarettes on the side of the room where we are seated. The only thing I can understand is “Corona” and “American”. People keep looking at me. About half of them are wearing masks. The talk, even in this remote place, is all focused on the pandemic. 

The only thing I can understand is “Corona” and “American”. People keep looking at me. About half of them are wearing masks. The talk, even in this remote place, is all focused on the pandemic. 

We continue down the hill, the temperature grows warmer, there is some sort of species of tree with willow-like catkins, and a tall, erect stature. Down, down, to the river below, and cross on a suspension bridge. We take a right off the main trail, following the river upstream. 

Coming to an overhang and shallow cave, we stop. Kavee tells me this is a place like where we would camp if we decide to camp out for any of the side trips we might do. Building a fire, using the shelter from the cave as protection from the elements. He’s brought a tent, but it is mostly for me.. he says that when he goes out on his own he leaves a lot of things up to the offerings of nature. While I’m pretty good at roughing it, but most of my backcountry experience is from the park service and not as a devotional yogi, and this sounds like a little more being left to chance than what I’m used to. However, caves seem comfortable, and I figure that if anything we attempt becomes too uncomfortable, I can always request to go back.

Next to the cave is a junction of two rivers. In Hindu culture where rivers merge is considered to be holy; we sit to practice trataka, a type of gazing meditation, on the river for a while. 

One of the two rivers at the junction.

Continuing upward, the forest becomes very wet, and terraced and organized, transitioning gradually to farmland; and then there are a few houses, and buffalo. Kavee had talked about wanting to get up high, above the town; partially because he preferred to be in the forest, but a little bit because he didn’t want to draw any attention bringing a foreigner through the town. We end up at the Candle Inn, on the upper end of Swanta.

We are the only guests at the hotel. My room looks out downvalley and towards the town. Dhaulagiri is visible but not until the morning; the clouds are low-hanging grey and don’t permit much view. Gathering in the dining area downstairs, where a fire was built, we start the daily check ins on the internet.

Some stone buildings near our hotel.

Nepal is locking down. - The man building the fire tells Kavee, who relays it to me. Starting 6am the following morning. I find the news in English on my phone, learning details: all transportation is to be stopped, no flights in or out of the country, stay at home orders are in place. California had already been locked down for several days, and several states in the US and many countries across the world were doing the same, with different levels of restrictions, but all with the same messages: stay where you are, stay at home. But it was happening so quickly - overnight things were to be closed.

Here I was in the Himalayas. It felt a little surreal to be in such a magical, incredible place while the world starts toppling. The stock market is crashing, the economy is falling out, freedoms are being stripped from the people left and right, all the catalyst of some invisible virus that strikes viciously and randomly when it does, and leaves the rest of the world frozen in fear that they could be next. And for now, I am nestled in the biggest mountains, in the smallest villages, one amongst the land. I was free for these moments, outside of the system, while the uncertainties mounted around. 

Dhaulagiri and some of its subpeaks, as seen from Swanta

Day 1 - Pokhara to Birethanti to Mohare Danda

4:00 am came too soon.

I got ready in the dark but everything had been set out so it was quick. Left my bag at the hotel; Kavee arrived in taxi shortly afterwards and off we went on a road that quickly became very curvy and filled with potholes. It was dark, the night lit up with stars.

Before 6 we arrived to the gateway village and started walking, the light of dawn just beginning to awaken the horizon and illuminate the stone buildings in soft tones of grey. We walked along a river to our left, steep hillsides rising in front. After only about 15 minutes, we stopped at the next small village and got tea. The women were just rising and going about morning activities.

After another hour or so of walking along a dirt road we stopped for breakfast; I tried a Tibetan bread with honey, it was dense and good. 

A jeep came by and we hopped on in the back. The road was devastatingly curvy, the switchbacks so sharp in some places we had to make three point turns to go around them. In the back we were bounced around too much to even consider taking a photo. A man joined us on the jeep but there was no room for him inside so he climbed onto the roof which seemed like a terrifying idea. The landscape dropped away as we climbed rutted and rocky roads higher and higher, until we could see the peaks of the Annapurna range rising behind the forested mountains of the foreground. The rhododendrons and pine forests were interrupted with villages, homesteads, and large terraced fields down steep hillsides. It felt like a dream. 

Finally we got dropped off near the start of our secondary trail turnoff. This was a side trail to Mohare Danda, a peak that has a tea house, and an amazing view of the Dhaulagiri and Annapurna ranges, but is less visited than the more popular Poonhill. As we started up the dirt path, we encountered men with large flat stones; they were building up the trail to be more official. Many of the more walked pathways along the route are in stone, but this one was one of the lesser used trails. As the Annapurna Circuit becomes both more visited and more developed there is work being done to develop these alternate routes to give visitors more options, spread out visitor use, and reduce impacts on the landscape. 

We climb up steep forest to start, moving slowly, taking time to marvel at the flowers and the trees and mosses and lichens. Kavee teaches me about flowers and their uses, but I get to teach him some things about botany as well; there are many family and genera similarities to other places I’ve been. The rhododendrons are blooming thickly and we walk through these absolutely incredible forests of them. Some of them have a bit of toxicity and in places there is no understory because they prevent other plants from growing. One thing that does occur frequently are two to three different species of Daphne, which is a false jasmine flower. Whenever we go through areas where it is thick the air is scented with heaven.

We stop for coffee. Kavee gives me a small cube - I think you’ll like this he says. I place it in my mouth and it doesn’t have much taste. I let the saliva activate it, slowly. It’s yak cheese, but a really hard variety. Over time it softens and becomes a good trail snack because it keeps the mouth busy and gives a little bit of flavor. 

As we climb we reach snow. The rhododendrons are beautiful in the snow. As we continue it gets deeper, and the clouds begin moving in. After some time we are in a total white out, just as we exit the forest to a grassy opening. We see two tall flags ahead, in place of the painted trees we’d been following. After the second flag though, the cloud we are in is so thick and the white out so blinding that there is no other indication as to which direction to go. Following our instincts, we continue uphill towards the ridge line, as to the left the mountain starts to drop off steeply. 

The path is gone by now, and the trail is not sufficiently traveled that there are fresh footsteps in the snow. We are on the ridge line, walking in and out of forest and rocky outcrops. The view must be incredible, but we cannot see except that to the left is a sharp drop off. It’s getting colder and the moisture in the air increases along with the density of the clouds. We should be close but with the inability to see where we are going it feels like the journey can go on forever. 

Finally we see a building, and then two, three. The snow is calf-deep and our boots and lower pants are wet. Just as we arrive to the tea-house it starts to rain heavily. We step into our refuge and get tea and order dinner; it is a delicious vegetable curry with rice; the veggies are surprisingly fresh and flavorful. The next morning I find that there are greens growing in all sorts of covered spaces around the building; even here at 12,000 feet.  Eventually they light a fire in a barrel shaped wood stove that I later find is common throughout the region. These things put out intense heat; our socks dry, and we sleep through the night in simple unseated rooms in the building below.

Preparing for Trekking in the Annapurna Region as the World Locks Down

I left Mount Mahabharat feeling melancholy. The deepening impacts of the global crisis were becoming more manifest each day. At one point there were restrictions on entry flights from certain countries. Not soon after, Nepal had announced the complete closure of international flights. Our daily yoga and meditation programs became even more important as uncertainty mounted. We had a particularly moving morning of spontaneous kirtan that lifted everyone’s moods beautifully... but later people would return to their phones and the news of the world, and the realities of each of our own home countries, as well as watching Nepal start to respond to the crisis: the closing of schools, bars, gatherings... the first round of restrictions on international flights to selected countries.

Leaving felt more somber than joyous; even though I had been very much looking forward to trekking, as things locked down more and more, it felt like I was walking out of my safe haven into an unknown world. 

One of the big trucks so common throughout Nepal, at the Dhunkharka Bazaar

We took the bus, our small group leaving the sweet and safe homestay, and upon arriving to Kathmandu Teresa departed; Paloma came with me to my hotel check in but then left to take a room at a nearby hostel. Then I walked up to meet my guide Kavee to get some gear for my trip and talk about our itinerary. Luckily, Kavee had already taken care of all my permits before the government had closed down issuing the TIMS cards (this is the permits required for tourists). This, he literally did in the last hour before it was shut down.

First he took me to a medical center. I was to get a doctor’s clearance... just in case. Before I entered the building they took my temperature. Then I was led inside and answered a few questions to the doctor as to how long I had been in Nepal, any problems I felt, etc. They took blood pressure, listened to my heart and lungs. 300 rupees later (less than $3), I had a note of good health.

Kavee took me around to a few gear shops that were his favorites to pick up stuff I didn’t have: a sleeping bag, backpack, new headlamp, hiking poles. Then we sat down for tea to look over the itinerary. He said if I wanted to leave a day early, it might be better. At that point, I thought, nah, let’s just stick with the original plan. I wanted a rest day, a chance to do laundry, to be by myself, eat a couple of good meals that weren’t dal baht, before moving on. 

However, when I went to dinner that night, a friend of mine who works in the tourism sector found the latest news that the lockdown was going to be enforced more strictly and that public buses would soon be restricted. I texted Kavee at 8:30 pm to see if he could still be ready to get on a bus to Pokhara, the start of the Annapurna Circuit, the next morning at 7. No problem, he said. I sent my bus details.

The next morning he was already on the same bus I was signed up for, waiting for me. The route was slow, bumpy, heavily trafficked, beautiful, following the Trisuli River and opening up views of the mountain ranges to the north. 

Over dinner we poured over maps and talked about routes. By this point, all of my previously carefully thought-out plans had gone out the window. I wouldn’t even try to get up to the Three Passes Trek in the Everest region right now because transport was too uncertain; now I wished to spend about 20 days trekking in the Annapurna region. He talked about taking me up to the North Annapurna Base Camp, an off the beaten route that requires camping for several days, and then on the route over Tilcho Pass to Tilcho Lake, down towards Manang, and then back up and over Thorong La pass to Muktinath, a well-regarded Hindi pilgrimage site. There were several caves and other spiritual temples along the way he would show me. If there was time and the snow level allowed for it we would also head up to the Dhaulagiri Base Camps.

My guide, Kave Sharma, meditates at a lookout point with his favorite mountain, Dhaulagiri, behind him.

Kavee’s speciality is as a mystic guide; he is a devotional Bhakti yogi; he leads people to special pilgrimage places, and encourages his clients to set some sort of intention as they come into the mountains. Mine is simply to know myself and understand my dharma path better through the meditation that walking mountainous paths gives me. My mind becomes clear and lifted, as I strengthen my body, take in the beauty of the nature; find challenges that are both mental and physical, and find myself closer to the world around me. I like quiet, off the beaten path places; I like high places and high passes, and dont mind a certain amount of discomfort in the form of steep ascents and descents, cold, rain and snow; I like walking for many hours in the day and just losing myself in the consistent motion and the subtle observation of everything around me. 

Our decision was to leave our hotels at 4am, to be at the trailhead around 6 to start walking. Even though the lockdown was not in full effect yet, and I had a valid permit and a doctor’s note, he still had some worries that the tourist police would not allow us to enter. While this seemed extreme, I figured he knew how the country worked better than I did, so I went along with it. 

After pulling enough cash in rupees to last the next 20 days I went back to pack. Packing for a 20 day trek felt so good... it brought me back to my days at Sequoia-Kings, looking over gear, deciding what should be organized together, how the backpack will be best distributed, paring down items to the bare necessities. 

It was late when I went to bed, and I knew I would hardly sleep, but there was so much excitement as I was ready to be immersed in the mountains for so many days, leaving behind the stress, fear-mongering, confusion, and get my head calmed by the peaks and passes, lakes and streams, the wilderness, the feel of the open space touching softly upon my face and my heart, the feel of each footstep, the meditation on the breath and the muscles working together, the long and spacious quiet.